Why Do We Hate Each Other… Even on July 4th?

In the movie The American President, Annette Bening plays a lobbyist who falls for Michael Douglas, the President. During his reelection campaign, his opponent smears her, accusing her of trading sexual favors for political concessions.

After tempers settle, she says:

“I don’t understand why so many people who claim to love America clearly hate Americans.”

As we celebrate 249 years since the Declaration of Independence, I think that’s still a fair question: Why are we like this — and can we ever be better?

Hating other Americans is nothing new. Hamilton called Jefferson an anarchist. Jackson’s supporters labeled the other side “unwashed mobs.” Lincoln’s own Attorney General thought he lacked “will and purpose.” When Teddy Roosevelt invited Booker T. Washington to the White House, Southern papers exploded, calling it “the most damnable outrage ever perpetrated by any citizen.” His cousin Franklin was branded a “traitor to his class,” and even Harry Truman got tagged a “pot-bellied, mutton-headed numbskull.” (I wonder if the sheep were insulted.)

It’s gone on and on — right up to what we’re watching play out today.

This may be our authentic American tradition.

Every July 4th, we throw barbecues and wave flags, acting like we’re all on the same team. But scratch the surface and we’re quick to turn on each other, to question each other’s patriotism, to see our fellow citizens as threats instead of partners in this national experiment.

Maybe the remarkable thing isn’t that we keep fighting — it’s that we still bother to try. We argue because we care. We still vote, protest, run for office, serve, and yes, complain. This democracy has always been messy, fragile, and in a state of constant evolution.

Courtest-Paul Weaver-Unspash

And yet…

As I hang the flag this year, I have to admit I’m not especially proud of how our leaders — on either side — have carried themselves.

For me, it's about policy differences, but it goes far beyond that. It’s the collapse of basic decency, the casual cruelty, the way public service seems more about winning than serving. Its about recognizing the role of important institutions that have served us so well over the past 100 years—scientists, public servants, and

non-profit organizations.

Still, I’ll hang the flag because I love this country, even when I’m deeply frustrated by those temporarily running it.

Maybe that’s the most honest form of patriotism: loving America enough to be honest about its flaws — and to keep demanding better.